Search This Blog

Tuesday, November 19, 2019

I am in a situation, when I cannot… (or On blaming)

Do you often think this or repeat this phrase to others? Unaware of the consequences? I do. Now – somewhat less.

I finally got it through my head that my thoughts and expectations create my ‘tomorrow’. And the title phrase will be creating more of the limiting fence. A phrase like this is projecting the situation I dislike into my tomorrow.

You can help yourself by replacing this idea in your head with, “I want (insert your thing). And I’ll find a way to get it”.

Here is one of my examples.

I like ballroom dancing. My husband – does not. A few years ago taking dance classes seemed impossible (since we do most things together). I wanted to inconvenience my husband as little as possible, but still wanted to dance, so we started with a Groupon samba class on a Saturday, Uptown NYC (1,5 hour one way commute). The next step was better – tango/cha-cha class together 20 minutes’ drive from home.  The next step was still better. Since my husband wasn’t really enjoying the classes. Yet, went for the sake of being together and driving me (as I don’t drive).

Then it turned out the same instructor gave private classes. During the day. So I could use public transport without straining my husband’s patience. And besides, dragging a person to activity he or she does not enjoy is not my cup of tea. I had 7-8 of these classes. To tell the truth, I enjoyed most of them – the mere pleasure of moving gracefully (tango and waltz) though was frustrated at times when I couldn’t read the leader’s cues. Finally the 4 hours I spent on commute and the lesson became too much for me. Besides, the studio didn’t have group classes.

So I told myself, “There should be classes in NYC with convenient location”. I had the same confidence I now have when I order anything from the Universe – shoes, hat, experience. And I did find them. There is a great studio Downtown with Carina Moeller (if any of my readers lives in NYC). The only slight inconvenience for the family is that it’s an evening class. But it’s all right! How often are YOU inconvenienced by family obligations?

I do not mind reaching my goals gradually and disrupting the status quo I am unhappy with. I only replaced “they don’t let me, I cannot” in my head with “there is a way and I’ll find it”.

Beautiful World

When my brother was between rental apartments and was living with friends, he needed a place for his cat. Since his friends said, “Three people, suitcases, and a cat will be too hard on our sanity and furniture.” The house was newly renovated.

So, the cat was brought into my one-bedroom. I was living alone at the time, with my husband gone to the States. I like cats and I imagined from my childhood experience a peaceful cohabitation.

The surprise came the very first morning. At 5 a.m. the cat, started charging my bedroom door in very decisively. At first I thought like any inexperienced cat owner, “There is no way I am getting up at 5 am for a cat’s crazy whim; she’ll tire of it soon.” Yet after 6-7 attacks she was still going strong.

Beautiful World

Quotes from “The Secret life of Walter Mitty”

Beautiful things do not ask for attention.


If I like a moment, I don’t take a picture. I just stay in it. I don’t like the distraction of the camera.


  1. Replies
    1. From a few weeks to couple of months. I got used both to pleasant and unpleasant side of our sojourn.
      The pleasant - watching movies while stroking the cat. I enjoyed it very much.


On Being Tired