Here is what works for me. My husband is a quiet type. He is either terrified to talk about such topics or prefers not to – thinking it useless, dangerous or something else. So, it is up to me to find a way out.
Emails and letters work if I want to carry a message across. In these cases I do not get a reply ‘in word form’. Only in a form of a stronger embrace the next day or stroking my hair when I come for it – as a cat. For ten years of marriage I have learned to discern all ‘communications’. No matter how subtle. The above reactions usually mean ‘I heard you’. Or there can be no reaction. Happens as well. But I wanted to get the message across, so it’s fine. Easier for me too. Since in serious conversations I get anxious and confused, unable to talk in short sentences. Like men prefer.
If I want a more distinct reply – watching movies together helps. There would always be a couple in a situation similar to ours or in a situation where I can easily ‘insert’ a question, “Are you a jealous type?” One question, no long discussions. It looks casual and not as scary as “we need to talk”.
You can ask a question or make a comment. Like recently, while watching ‘Murdoch Mysteries’ I did ask my husband ‘the jealous type’ question and assured him that dance classes I am taking are for the sake of dancing, since I love it.
Do not think that taciturn partners – men or women – do not need our comments and reassurance. Just because they do not ask for them.